“Hey, you! Come over here! Wanna tell you about something important. One time, about ten years back, I did play a Street Fighter. And it filled me with a terrible rage. A real fury. Went outside, sun blinding my eyes — and I’ll be damned if I didn’t start doing a Street Fight, right then and there. Got this scar, right here, above my nose. See it? Anyways, here’s my homemade Kingdom Hearts fan zine.” Suggested talking points: That Creep, Adult Weed School, Shaq v. Shaq, Make it Sleazy Today, Mr. Stuffy Hates Games, Jackin’ In, Merkin Punnett Square.